Author Archives: Leigh Alexander

I can’t see you every night

Thanks to everyone who’s been buying, sharing thoughts and Tweeting about my book, Breathing Machine. Lately I really loved this thoughtful review from Cassandra Phillips-Sears, and Boing Boing was kind enough to do a writeup also. I’m told there will be an official audiobook coming soon, so those of you who have been asking about that, stay tuned! No, it won’t be me reading it (I just did this little promo) — probably someone professional who doesn’t lapse into a weird hybridized mid-Atlantic accent, fortunately.

I’ve been pretty busy lately:
Continue reading

In this, the year of

During the month of January, I did a couple big features that gathered perspectives from many developers — the first of these is about the supposed self-promotion age and how it affects game developers.

Inspired by a blog post of self-promotion tips from Raph Koster, I spoke to a range of developers, from grad students to visible indies, about the pressure not only to do marketing for one’s game, but for oneself, in a sense — how necessary it is to stand out in the landscape as a creator and ways to go deal with the complicated feelings that arise.

This becomes increasingly relevant as artists and creators are looking for ways to make a living outside an increasingly-strained infrastructure, and seeking funding from fans is a major avenue. I wrote an editorial about the launch of Double Fine’s Broken Age (which I backed, but still have yet to play) — it helps encapsulate the ways that for every new opportunity crowdfunding offers, there are new disruptions in the traditional creator-audience relationship, and things get complicated.

Last year there was much talk of “developer dads,” and the tonal shift in commercial games that comes from devs having kids of their own. But mothers make games too; some of them balance parenthood with indie careers, and want more visibility on their experience. Here’s my feature on indie moms, their unique opportunities and challenges, and how the culture of game development tends to shut them out of the conversation.

I spoke to Samantha Kalman about her multidisciplinary background in music and tech, and how it led to her successfully-funded Sentris game; I also spoke to Mitu Khandaker about Redshirt, her cynical space social media sim, and creating a healthy community around a game about how reality can be awful.

In addition to Kalman and Khandaker, in these and other articles I interviewed Brianna Wu, Katharine Neil, Tanya Short, Elizabeth Sampat, Beth Maher, Leanne Bayley, and Nina Freeman just in the past four weeks or so.

In the month of January, every interview about game development that I have published, am currently at work on, or will file focuses on or includes a woman dev discussing her work and the landscape. Both pieces with more than one source include more than one woman.

I thought I’d quietly see if this was possible in the new year — not everything I file in a given month is an interview or includes quotes, but much of it is, and I wondered if I could spend a month covering game development while always including — even centering on, where possible — the voices of women working in the space, in a way that came naturally and kept the focus on the creative space and the developers’ work.

It came surprisingly easily. It took half an effort. There are so many passionate women in games, many of them eager to share their work and experiences, and not only when it’s time for a “women in games” panel.

I believe cultural change comes with increased visibility on the people who share your wish for change, and that’s something I can contribute as a writer. There is always more to be done — I certainly don’t want to seem to be patting myself on the back for paying attention to a handful of mainly white, young women I know on social media and from events — just to show others how possible it is to take even a basic step; how simple, and how low-friction it is to shift conversation about games to include women without decreasing the utility of the piece or narrowing its potential audience.

It’s easy to get more coverage of women in games; it’s easy to include women speakers at your event (as my friend Courtney Stanton aims to do with her Boston conference, No Show). If you “can’t find” anyone, or if the panels you do attend or articles you do read are always about the same people, you can keep looking, and you can try harder. I’ll try harder.

BREATHING MACHINE audio excerpt!

Some of you asked, so I’ve decided to record a chapter from my new ebook out loud as a little promo of sorts. If you’d like, you can enjoy listening to Chapter 5 read to you, by me, at this Soundcloud link!

As before, links to buy the full text on Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, iBooks and Kobo are all here. Thanks so much for all your support. I promise I’ll stop shilling this at you imminently.

BREATHING MACHINE launch!

1490771_10153724153500717_781417209_oHey look, I am “hot this week” on iBooks!

BREATHING MACHINE: A Memoir of Computers, my very first (small) ebook project, has been exclusively available on iBooks til now. If you pre-ordered the book from Amazon, Google Play, or Kobo, you should get your digital delivery tomorrow. If you’ve been waiting for the Barnes & Noble link, that’s available now, too.

If you’re interested in the book, you can check out an excerpt here at Gamasutra.

Amazon: http://read.ag/1b5FNvy (or this one: http://aq.be/5a347f )
iBooks: http://read.ag/1i1jpLK
Google Play: http://read.ag/1jpvOa9
Kobo: http://read.ag/1mm0mcz
Barnes & Noble: (Link)

Your support, Tweets, shares, emails, reviews, etc. have meant so much, and I’d still love your support today — first-day sales are important to determining how much promtion sites like Amazon give me going forward.

I’m thinking of holding a big Hangout or live channel next week to talk with readers of the book and hear your own stories. That could be fun, right?

Thank you so much to everyone who’s reading and supporting me, and I hope you enjoy the book!

Announcing my eBook, BREATHING MACHINE: A Memoir of Computers

I’ve written a small ebook called BREATHING MACHINE, a memoir of growing up alongside mysterious computers, primitive adventures, and the advent of the bizarre internet. This is my first attempt to challenge myself to write something more long-form, and it’s also some of the most personal writing I’ve ever done.

If you’re nostalgic for, or curious about those early days of discovery in tech when everything felt like a magic door was just around the corner, if you miss your AOL and CompuServe friends, if you think about Usenet or the Apple IIe, or if you, like me, found out about yourself by questing in these strange, tactile, unfinished spaces, I think there’s something in the book for you.

I’m excited to announce that BREATHING MACHINE is now available for preorder from Amazon, iBooks, Kobo and Google play. It’ll download now exclusively for iBooks users, and will be available on the 22nd on all other platforms, and I hope you’ll check it out.

I don’t sell many things to my readers — this is the first thing in my eight-year career writing about games, virtual worlds, social media and internet culture — so if you’ve enjoyed my work, a purchase would be a much-appreciated way for you to support me. Your Tweets, shares and signal boosting would also be warmly appreciated. And if you work for an outlet and are interested in blurbing or reviewing BREATHING MACHINE in some capacity, please email leighalexander1 at gmail.

I’m excited to share this with you! Thank you so much for your readership.

Joy is Huge: 2013 in Review

So many of my friends seem to’ve had a tough 2013, so it feels kind of in poor spirit to “celebrate” my own. Let’s just say, then, that I’ve had an incredibly lucky year. The sense that I’m daily drowning in an embarrassment of tiny miracles becomes almost anxious-making — some karmic debt collector is surely out there, and he will come for me. Every day I peek out from behind my blind, dreading the sight of his shadow on my lawn.

But it hasn’t fallen yet, and for now, I feel, as a highly-secular person, not blessed, but fortunate. Some people use that kind of language as graceful codification for I made money. It’s definitely not that, for me.

Just things like this:

Continue reading

The Best Games of 2013

I increasingly hate the idea of “best”, and the idea that when you evaluate anything, separately or together, there is a background process in your mind ready to decide whether this thing is eligible to be “best”.

But I continue to believe that audiences benefit from the careful work of people invested in bringing them educated and experienced opinions, and curation remains an important job for people like me to do. So when I’m telling you about my favorite games, I might as well admit it — I think they’re best. I mean. It’s just my opinion. But I’m right.

My personal top five list is now live at Gamasutra for your perusal. I wrote that it’s in no particular order, but come to think of it, it’s actually in ascending order, with my most-favorite game of the year listed first.

Go see. And when you’re done, read the rest of this post for the rest of my top 10. Links to my coverage on each are provided where available/relevant.

Continue reading

The gleam

As a form, games have spent a long time considering what to borrow from and learn about other media. We’ve embraced the idea that interactive entertainment is a form in its own right, not some illegitimate cousin to something else. But we also get that insularity doesn’t make us healthy, and games that only borrow from other games are limited.

Over at Kotaku, Kirk and I reminisce about Phantasmagoria 2 and the “dark, gritty”, film-chasing FMV game heyday. I’m in love with these weird warped relics more today than I ever have been; they deserve to be revisited as art just as much as melted 1980s VHS tracks have been for music over the past few years.

I look at how the art world is influenced by tech — bot poets, Emoji galleries, the romantic fixation on the rough edges of the Geocities-era internet — and when I look at coarse old FMV games I start to finally see the possibility for modern aesthetic schools to start adopting other things from games besides 16-bit sprites and bleep-bloops.

The Bear Stearns Bravo FMV showpiece seems like a neat start, and would have been on my GOTY list for the concept alone, if I’d been able to spend more time digging in. The games press should do a January wave of “in case you missed it,” for all the games we fall in love with in the free time we suddenly have after the year-end stuff is over.

Relatedly, my newest Edge column is about how some theatre concepts have and should continue to have a positive influence on the games space.

And while sensationalized “dark, gritty” attitudes to violence will probably not make games seem like they are for grown-ups no matter how much people keep at it, honest, thoughtful explorations of violence that respect the purpose of the medium and communicate complex things will.

Please-please read my interview with Merritt Kopas on her Consensual Torture Simulator, a fascinating act of personal expression wreathed in commentary on games that questions what else violence could mean in interactive entertainment.

I care less and less about the traditional consumer games business, and more and more about where the weird and interesting games are (I wrote a critique of Tearaway, ICYMI).

Tomorrow I’m going to be publishing my personal games of the year list, so keep with me. I also recently contributed to Gamasutra’s Top 10 Game Developers of 2013, so check it out if you’re interested in hearing who the ~world’s best industry trade site~ thinks are defining our space right now.

We are gonna make it through December, all of us.

Season of the Witch

Nothing could be more boring than to begin a post with “sorry for the lack of updates, folks,” so I won’t do it. How’ve you all been?

I went to wonderful GameCity 8 in Nottingham at the end of October. Quinns and I gave a talk on relationships, romance and sex in games the transcript of which we hope to make available soon; in part it’s an adaptation of our letter series from earlier this year on the topic, only with more “dark” “adult” FMV games. Keith Stuart mentioned our talk in his “Five things I learned at GameCity” article in the Guardian!”

We co-hosted our evening of romantic games chat with the fantastic Tale of Tales, who showed Luxuria Superbia there. More on that game very soon — meanwhile, the Fullbright Company’s Steve Gaynor did an in-depth Gone Home Q&A at GameCity, which I covered at Gamasutra.

Interestingly, Gaynor said Gone Home was prototyped in Frictional Games’ engine, the one they used for Amnesia. Lately I also interviewed Frictional Games on upcoming Soma, and how having no-combat first-person games is a more interesting design challenge than most people imagine. It’ll also be the company’s first outing on PS4, and I’m told they’re not finding it too much different than developing for a PC.

I’ve also been busy doing some longer form stuff; I spent a good deal of time with Nick Yee’s new book, The Proteus Paradox, full of fascinating research on online worlds. In the Columbia Journalism review, I dig into the book’s main takeaways: That given the limitless possibility of virtual worlds and online games, we seem to prefer to dutifully imitate the constraints and conventions of the familiar. You could even argue we have a responsibility to go further than that.

A lot of Yee’s research about avatar-based interaction and gaming online has useful takeaways for designers working with virtual and augmented reality gaming technology. As part of Gamasutra’s themed advanced input/output week last week, I devised five questions for the future of VR gaming: Major considerations I think designers should have good answers to in order to make work in the wearable tech and VR-wear space meaningful instead of gimmicky.

Finally, I spent a good deal of time in recent weeks developing this feature on the boom and bust of the social gaming age on Facebook. Major designers joined this trend vein and then left it, were bought and then shut. It was an anxious time full of philosophical conflict and big business spends. What happened to all the promise we were told lay beneath the manic colonization of the platform with Zynga-Villes? And what’s next?

I’m kind of proud of that, if I may say so, so I’d love if you gave it a read and shared it. Many smart people contributed their thoughts and their experiences are very much worth hearing.

boring

I recently appeared on Destructoid to give a video interview about my work and talk about video games as the guest of Jonathan Holmes, whom I like a lot. The comments are ridiculous and aimed at ‘putting me in my place.’

The ‘threatened gamer’ is a hyper-visible but increasingly-irrelevant market category that gets its sense of competence and importance from being at the center of marketers’ aiming eye for the past decade. I recently wrote about the weird dissonance of being an adult at a video game expo, and increasingly other adults, especially those who actually work in games and write about them, are noticing the same dissonance. Linked in my piece there are several articles specifically aimed at dismantling the absurdity of the Preview Event. I see the trend as a sign of life.

Here, I talk to GoldenEye 007 director Martin Hollis about his long-standing boredom with violence and the new romance-oriented public installation game he’s making for the upcoming GameCity event in Nottingham, where I’ll be giving several talks.

Most things in games are more interesting than the commercial sector. Following the scandalous reveal of Horse_ebooks and partner Pronunciation Book, I speak to the company’s Tom Bender about what it’s all really been about — an art project that currently takes the shape of a 1990s-style FMV game. 1990S STYLE FMV GAME, you guys. Bender and his colleague are pleasantly focused on adding more mystery to our experience of the internet, not dispelling it.

The most disappointing thing for me about “gamer culture” isn’t really that there are a group of vocal product-gobblers who think that an entire medium belongs to them. It’s that there are so few people who are willing to interrupt them in that perception.

I mean, everyone wants to make money, I get it, but for example: Where is the statement from GameSpot that says it’s proud to have Carolyn Petit on its team and it won’t tolerate any abuse of her from its community? Why did her GTA review have to pass 1000 comments, many nauseatingly abusive, before it was closed?

Why is the fact my video interview generated 400 comments of inflammatory, polarizing discussion something to be celebrated? Where is its statement about its community’s treatment of a guest it invited? Why does this recent profile of me mostly focus on what I supposedly bravely-endure in my social media presence, instead the games, creators and ideas I bravely endure something or other to bring attention to?

Are so many people stuck in such a holding pattern that we listlessly wave groundless ‘controversies’ through our bullshit detectors? Do we not have anything else to say?

I’m past even being bothered by it: My writing very rarely targets the market category that identifies as “PROUD GAMERS”, and I don’t participate much in the commercial industry’s schedules or cycles, and I still make my living, and I still have the support of tons of amazing people. Still. It’s just kind of boring and disappointing, and embarrassing for us, isn’t it?