Category Archives: Retro

Minimalism And Magic

Kirk Hamilton and I have been writing all those FFVII Letters at Paste, banging on about how special and imaginative the game is. Yet as Kirk pointed out in our last letter, it contains a Meteor called “Meteor,” a Weapon called WEAPON, and stuff called Black Materia and Huge Materia (to differentiate itself from regular old Materia, of course). Creative.

But in today’s new edition in the series, I talk about how the simplistic names are abstraction at its happy work yet again — when we don’t have to think much about what things are called, it gives us more mental resources to think about what they are. Simple names make important concepts intuitive, second-nature. And then when something is named rather prettily, like the sunken Gelnika or Turks leader Tseng, it makes more of an impact on us.

When I was a kid, every game I played was painfully basic in presentation and interface. The only explanation I have for why I so loved these ancient computer games I wrote about in Thought Catalog today was that I was young, had an overactive imagination and had little else I wanted to do with my playtime — not to mention it’s not like we had many more sophisticated adventures in the 1980s, right?

I also think they impacted me so much because they were SO terse, so crude. That blob on the wall is a cabinet I’m supposed to open? How the eff would I have known that without stabbing in the dark? Why does the game tell me I’m holding a map if it is of no use to read it? I must type ENTER HOUSE and not OPEN DOOR or else the game will tell me that area is not available, and if I go WEST at this intersection I’ll be instantly killed? Cool.

That cursor blinking at me, demanding my next move, frustration a constant pall — and yet the continual possibility of sudden, lucky solution teased at the fringe of my awareness just as much as did the threat of sudden, accidental death. I’d hold my breath and get chills; they remain among my favorite gaming memories.

When young there was nothing I loved more than rich universes. I’d write about my favorite games, draw pictures and play pretend. That’s why so much of my writing lately has hinged on parsing exactly what’s changed — either about games or about me — that makes me so inattentive and easily bored.

When I play games that give me lorebooks, diary entries, character stories hidden off the beaten path, I’m surprised at how little I care. It’s not so simple as impatience for reading — I like reading, and I don’t even mind when reading in text adventures or visual novels comes at the expense of interactivity. “I’ve changed,” I shrug to myself when I have a million New Unread Notes blinking at me in this or that UI and I just scroll through them quickly because the star or dot or highlight or exclamation point that tells me I haven’t read them yet bugs me like it does in Gmail.

Yet as we observe in the FFVII Letters, some types of games can make me go way, way out of my way and to much inconvenience for even the possibility of discovering a new piece of information. Why will I do it for characters and plot threads that are so minimal, when I won’t do it for things rendered in much more depth?

Because I like minimalism, I guess. I like to do the brain-work myself, the imagining myself. And I get such a thrill from looking at the title screens of these old adventure games I can now revisit thanks to the magic of this web-based IIe emulator that I don’t even try to play them that often, because it still feels good to think of them as ghosts I never conquered, awesome machines that have forever outsmarted me. It still feels good to preserve them as half-remembered, near-legendary things.

And also because I still can’t beat most of them without a walkthrough, and you know once you open a walkthrough for one puzzle your tolerance for future ones steadily decreases, and before you know it, you’re just going through the motions, and that’s no way to honor my past. I get addicted to hints (you should have seen our phone bill, and my parents’ consternation, back when Sierra still operated that buck-a-minute hint line).

Anyway, you might have missed this 2009 Classic Moment In SVGL History when I wrote this “open letter” to Bob Blauschild, the designer of two out of five of my best-remembered — and most frustrating — adventure games, whose name sketched on the title screens always stuck with me. I did it mostly as humor, never expecting that he’d ever see it, but he did, and here’s what he wrote back to me.

Hearing from Mr. Blauschild was frankly a little dazzling, because I still maintain that lifeline to the way I felt about those old computer games and the invisible, sadistic entities that made them. Once in a while if I think about it, so is the fact that I now have periodic occasion to be in the same room as “Lord British”, whom as a kid I presumed had to be some real-life mysterious English lord, sitting on a throne made of mainframes, silently challenging the world’s peons to encounter him at Ultima. When I was tiny I thought he maybe wasn’t even real, some artificial consciousness assembled in green pixels.

I think that’s part of the Minecraft juggernaut today, actually. There’s the idea of a single figure who goes by the moniker of ‘Notch’, creating the weather in a savage and lawless, endless world that challenges its players to eke out defiance — and beauty — one hard-won step, one precious discovery at a time. Awe and death are both certain in Minecraft, and you just never know which is coming next.


[Today’s Good Song: Memory Tapes, ‘Today Is Our Life‘]

Question Of The Week: What Scares You?

Look, I remembered to do Question of the Week this week!

The horrific Phantasmagoria 2 became available on GoodOldGames.com this week. I haven’t played it since I was young (and it’s not appropriate for young people, bless my parents) — but I remember that it scared me worse than nearly any other video game ever to date. I could not even finish it for a good couple years because I was too scared to try things and die over and over. It took me a few years before I was brave enough to print out a walkthrough for the very last section and beat the game.
I have a sneaking suspicion that if I tried it again today, it would be terribly disappointing, possibly even hilariously terrible. But paradoxically — kid you not — I’m still too frightened to revisit it.
What game scared you worse than any other in your memory? Do you feel stupid about it now, or does it still scare you?

An Open Letter To Mr. Bob Blauschild, Formerly Of Sirius Software

[no. what i need is to bash my face against the keys a few more times, perhaps try typing some curse words.]

Dear Mr. Blauschild,

As you may have realized from my blog and body of work widely available on the Internet, I am a video game journalist. I was tonight the recipient of a sudden electroshock of nostalgia, during which I suddenly remembered that you, sir, are the source of my fear of elevators.

You see, Mr. Blauschild, I am actually the heir to my father’s consumer technology journalism mantle. My father covered a variety of home entertainment products including what were at the time fairly newly-invented items including the home personal computer, the home videocasette player, and the home video game console. As a result, I was raised with plenty of access to press review copies of just about every Apple II and Commodore 64 game ever developed, and that, sir, includes your portfolio of work as a designer of text games accompanied by graphics published under the marquee of Sirius Software.

Mr. Blauschild, you developed quite a few excellent products which stumped me mightily — I was only five or six years old at the time, and precocious but not especially freakish, please understand. So it was that your titles Critical Mass and Escape From Rungistan came to form one of the earliest gaming palettes that I can to this day recall. So did Kabul Spy, Blade of Blackpoole and Gruds In Space, but I am unsure whether you are the one to whom I can assign responsibility for these titles.

Current internet research informs me that indeed Sirius Software’s adventure titles were merely poor clones of what Sierra titled at the time its “Hi-Res Adventures,” but my young mind knew no difference, and I’ll have you know that Escape From Rungistan challenged me for years. That action sequence with the skis? I even consulted my uncle, a ski aficionado, for advice on how commands like LEAN RIGHT and LEAN LEFT might correspond to actual skiing, but all I ever ended up with was a face full of splinters (via text, naturally). I once had a dream I arrived at the animated cannibals that I saw in the game’s manual — and bragged to my friends that I indeed passed the ski sequence — but in truth, it was a dream only.

Although my young days were filled with fantasies of triumph, I never did beat any of your games, Mr. Blauschild. I was only six years old.

However, my particular bone to pick with you hinges on the odd title Critical Mass, which as I’m certain you recall begins in an office in which the word LITHIUM is written on the wall to inform the player of a password for later use. Why should a six-year-old know the meaning of the word LITHIUM, Mr. Blauschild? Well, I knew it not, but what really took its place beneath my skin was the “action sequence” that followed the player character’s exiting his office via text command.

As I’m sure you cannot not have forgotten, almost immediately upon opening gameplay, the player is placed in a plummeting elevator, and if the player does not type “JUMP” at the precisely-timed correct moment (followed, of course, by the seminal ‘Return’ key), the player will die — after being informed that one’s elbows and knees have switched places, or perhaps it was the hips and shoulders, or other such gruesome penalty.

Mr. Blauschild, I was six years old, and it took me months — I jest not, months, sir — of repeated attempts before I fundamentally understood the idea of action gameplay timing. I did pass that point in your game, indeed I did. I arrived at the airport and bestowed the flower upon the Hare Krishna (I had no idea, of course, what Krishnas were). I took the plane to France where I was delighted by your clever street names such as “Rue La Chat” and “Rue La Pig” — and was then immediately frustrated by the key in the drain pipe, the flooding streets.

But to this day, Mr. Blauschild, every time I enter an elevator in my normative adult life — I am now twenty-something, sir — I recall your game, Critical Mass, and wonder whether, should the elevator plummet, my upper and lower joints will trade places if I do not JUMP at precisely the assigned moment. My body temperature perceptibly lowers, and every time — every time I enter an elevator, Mr. Blauschild, and I a New York resident! — I prepare myself to JUMP. I am traumatized, and it is your fault.

This means, Mr. Blauschild, formerly of Sirius Software, developer of the games that formed my childhood sustenance, that I shall never forget you. And this means, in addition to having traumatized me for life, you taught me action gameplay timing, sir. Not only were there the skis in Escape From Rungistan, but there was that hellacious “call Gidget” waterski sequence in Critical Mass. What is with you and skis, dear sir? I know not — but I concede, here and now, that you helped create me as I am.

Today I am a game journalist, Mr. Blauschild. And you taught me not only my terror of elevators and my comprehension of action gameplay timing, but my love of the intellectual interactive puzzle, my yen for banging my head against the steep wall of frustration, my asbsolute addiction to outwitting the sadistic logic of a game designer.

Certainly, you are not sole among my earliest mentors; I must thank early Origin Systems veteran Dallas Snell for Ring Quest, Phillip and Bob Hess for the insanely ruthless Death in the Caribbean, of course, the Williamses Ken and Roberta (because before King’s Quest, there were Mystery House and The Dark Crystal, of course). And slightly later, I owe my gratitude to Al Lowe for teaching me, by way of Leisure Suit Larry, what a “prophylactic” is at the age of eight or so (yes, precocious, intellectual independence, hallelujah)!

But perhaps against all odds, Mr. Blauschild, I loved and loathed alike your titles first and best. Thank you, in both highest esteem and admiration, and in good-natured frustration, bitterness and childhood damage, for my passion and for my livelihood. All that exists to be read with my name beneath the headline was born in part of you.

Sincerely yours,

Leigh Alexander
News Director, Gamasutra
Proprietress, Sexy Videogameland
leighalexander1 at gmail dot com

PS: To all gentlemen and women herein named, I forever adore you, genuinely.

Lonely Hearts


I returned to my roots this weekend in more ways than one! I spent an embarrassing chunk of time replaying (and beating!) the entirety of Ys I & II — man, I loved that game so much when I was a kid that I have no idea whether the awesomeness I associate it with now and the fact I had such a great time with it is because of nostalgia or because it was really, really that great. I’ll have to explore that a little more later.

Second, this week’s Aberrant Gamer column goes back to my dating sim niche. Playing Harvest Moon more than a bit lately, I noticed that I could easily predict what bachelors and bachelorettes would be available. Harvest Moon in particular tends to recycle characters, subtly and knowingly, even when they have variations on their appearances and names (this sounds like it’d be a terrible thing, but it’s actually kinda fun). But beyond the series itself, I noticed that there’s a broader archetypal pattern to the gals and guys “available” to you in dating sims, just as there are in hardcore hentai games, so I decided to have a little stab at analyzing What Your Dating Sim Choice Says About You.

All the stuff I’ve been doing lately means I am not, like many people I know, in the LittleBigPlanet beta. I can wait at least until retail for that one — since I’m rarely big on multiplayer anything, and prefer structure, and find that “making things in a video game” holds my attention for all about ten minutes, I’m suspicious that I’ll fall into the “it’s cool, but not my kinda thing” camp.

I’m also sort of leery of groupthink in general. It leads people to enthuse that Braid is super deep just because everyone else has said so, without discovering that fact for themselves — or worse, it leads them to shut up if they disagree. I had a dinner conversation lately with some fairly special industry folk who, after a moment of hesitation, all shyly admitted they didn’t “get” Braid and didn’t see what all the fuss was about — and also said they’d been afraid to admit this because they were afraid it made them “stupid” in the face of the group sentiment. These were all absolutely brilliant people, too.

And I think the same kind of groupthink might be leading to a little bit of over-hype for LBP — I’ve seen it a couple of times at events and stuff, and not that it isn’t legitimately exciting, but I confess to feeling peer-pressured to be “really awed and excited” about it when I’m merely “interested.” So yes, I do plan on having a go at LBP myself for sure — wouldn’t miss it — but as to whether it’s the Second Coming or not, I’ll actually wait until I play it at length to decide.

Anyhow, playing a retro RPG and writing about aberrant gaming was a nice refresher for me after a heavy week of survival horror and Silent Hill: Homecoming. I’m gratified, like I’ve said, to read long threads on forums and stuff to see there’s quite a chunk of players really enjoying the game, but it was still just a little bit lonely last week being one of the only reviewers to really like it (1UP and UGO reviewed it fairly well, but those are the only ones I know of).